Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
