I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
