...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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