I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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