i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
