We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize