i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize