You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
