oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So squirting runs in the family.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
