the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
