i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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