Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She bit a glass in half.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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