Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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