garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
