I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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