Those balls look pretty dangerous.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
