Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have fence marks all over my body
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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