Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
