Apparently you make a good broom.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
