The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
