I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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