I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
