I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
jump out the window naked night went bad
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