Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
