Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
