You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
