I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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