How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
