talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize