I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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