this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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