You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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