the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
