I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
