Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
