I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
