is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
