the new term for farting is butt boxing.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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