So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
