There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
