a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it's like iHOP with fire
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
