I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
