I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
