Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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