this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
