you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
