marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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