butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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