i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize