are you so shy because you have an std?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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