guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Randomize
