i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
