need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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