i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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