that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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