my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
