I didn't shave. On purpose
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
