You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
