it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Boobs are out for the taking
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
