Your face is a jimmy john
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
