I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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