Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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