More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
